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| Just a heads up for the few of you who I know, I deleted my MySpace page because the thing really is just useless and all I ever did was get annoying friend requests by girls I've never met and the site is shit half of the time. So Donovan, sorry but you're going to have to rely on Facebook for pictures of me, and I know you are the one who looked at them the most.
Also, I've got a new email address that seems a bit more reasonable for businesses and the such. Which I plan on using for very serious stuff which includes keeping in touch with friends who seem to lose the cell phone every couple of months coughEddycough.
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| For as long as I can remember, I've always had religion in my family. My grandma on my dad's side is a Lutheran who goes to church every Sunday, like her mother before her and my grandma on my mom's side also goes to chuch. As a kid, I remember going every once in a while and especially for things like Easter and Christmas. I guess you could say my grandma sorta pushed my dad out of the church because he just got tired of it feeling like a duty or whatever you want to call the idea that you have to be at church to be a good follower. This had an impact on me because from the moment he decided this it in-turn kept him from taking us kids atleast as far as I can remember.
I've always had to question God and the Bible because that's just my nature, I won't blindly follow something as I'll always keep an open mind, because I refuse to let anything take that much of an effect over my life. I guess what I'm getting at is I've never really had any influence of the church in my life. I've never felt pushed into religion and I think organized religion is something that shouldn't dictate if you're a good person or not. Why should my beliefs, and not my actions as a human, direct me after death? To me it would be a real shitty God to dismiss people just on the fact that they didn't really believe in him and instead let someone into his "garden" who isn't anything near of a person as the one before him.
Maybe I should read the Bible for once, not as a tool to fill my head into making me believe I have to go to a church. But for so I can have a legitimate opinion on things and find out what I truly believe and so I will be able to hold better arguments.
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| Tomorrow school starts, and for some reason I'm sort of happy. I don't know if it's that I feel like going back means I'm attempting to do something with my life or if it just feels good knowing I might learn some stuff again and not be so dormant (for lack of a better word).
I honestly still have no clue what I want to do but I've embraced that and realized if I take the gen ed classes and get those out of the way then soon I can figure out what I want to do and go from there. I just don't want to pick something just because and end up hating future jobs because of it. To me, a career shouldn't be something that causes me to stress so much that I can barely live and just takes every minute of my life without allowing me some room to have fun and live a little. My dream goal is to go see places and things around the world. No one in my family seems to really share the same aspirations so I don't understand why I get so interested in history outside of the US, but I think it might be just because it's something fresh to me and something I won't see everyday.
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| So I've got 30 odd minutes before I head off to work.
I've had an absurd sleeping schedule which generally consists of me going to bed at 4PM and waking up at about 2AM. This has alot to do with work which there have been weeks where I work only 2 6AM-11AM shifts per week which throws my body into a shitty loop which results in me having to stay up for 24 hours.
But today is just as bad, after having a crazy dream about Leviathan (not a sea creature but some demonized man who lead an entire army of people bound and determined to kill everyone) which revolved around the scenery of Market Place mall and cultimated into me calling everyone and trying to get them to arm up. Of course, I woke up before the real battle to an incredibly headache which still hasn't gone away. It's one of those headaches you get around the eye which results in you being sensitive to light and quick movement of your head. Some people would just say "You've got migraine headaches", but I won't diagnose myself and use it to get out of things.
Before I leave, I have to question why I work 8 hours for 58 bucks. In todays world that's about a full tank of gas and 3-4 good meals between a couple of days. It infuriates me that I get that much money while people are making thousands off of me and all I can do is sit around and realize I'm getting fucked while people are sitting in their air conditioned offices, eating crumpets and having breakfast tea. I've had so many desires to just quit Schnucks and say fuck it, but I know I have a car payment and it would be selfish, foolish, and irresponsible of me to expect my parents to take care of me. We aren't rich so it isn't just that easy to drop money on things, otherwise I believe they'd just have me going to school and taking care of everything while they expect me to get somewhere in life.
One of the worst things man ever created, besides organized religion, is money. A man will kill himself to spare his family of debt, only to find out they won't get any money in return. Now, that's quite sad and makes me wonder if money really, in the end, means anything to anyone.
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| So I registered for classes at P-Land Monday. Right now, I'm going for a degree in Business (Administration is what I'm really aiming for) because it happens to be a more universal degree than most around. That doesn't mean I'll just be some business executive, I still can shoot for something else after I get done with all the classes for business.
My Fall 2006 schedule:
Principal Of Economics I - Monday and Wednesday - 3:00PM till 4:35PM
Composition I (English 101) - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday - 11:00AM till 11:50AM
Introduction to Fiction - Tuesday and Thursday - 1:00PM till 2:15PM
Intro/Applied Statistics - Monday, Wednesday, and Friday - 12:00PM till 12:50PM
I've been listening to the new Tool album lately. I can see why alot of people wouldn't like it as it isn't typical Tool, it doesn't have the extremely loud sounds and really focuses on trapping the listener with emotions. It's hard to explain really, but it's feels like a different experience than any of the other CDs I've listened to. Donovan could probably elaborate more, and infinitely better.
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